Are you a leading provider of innovative, cost-effective solutions with world-class service and a unique portfolio of robust products? Are you pleased to announce a next-generation partnership to become an industry leader in quality assurance to optimise customer satisfaction? Are you focused on flexibility, scalability and high-performance outcomes? I hope not. I really hope not.
Caught in the Clutches of Gobbledygook
You may be wondering why I’m less than thrilled with the preceding descriptions. There’s nothing offensive or negative about them. Chances are, you might even like the sound of them. But guess what? Nearly every word in those sentences is gobbledygook. Webster’s New World Dictionary defines gobbledygook as slang, “pompous, wordy, usually meaningless talk or writing”.
Why are these words considered gobbledygook? From a business perspective, they’re so overused they’ve ceased to have meaning. The Dow Jones and David Meerman Scott analysed over 700,000 press releases to identify “gobbledygook, jargon, clichés and over-used, hype-filled words”. They came up with a list of 325 words and phrases.
Not so “innovative” and hardly “unique”
The number one offender, “innovative” got over 51,000 mentions in press releases published in 2008. I’m not sure about you, but I just haven’t seen that much innovation around. Another big offender, coming in at over 40,000 occurrences is “unique”. Do you really think there’s that much stuff around unlike anything else? I don’t.
As a copywriter, my eye is trained to recognise gobbledygook. I spend my day trying to create original content devoid of overused, bombastic language for my clients. It isn’t easy. But here’s the thing. When I read a document containing these common phrases, my brain turns off. I quit reading. I start skimming. Pretty soon, my eyes glaze over and I’m not processing what I’m reading. In a very short time – less than 30 seconds – I move on to something else. With the internet providing so many opportunities to read, I’m not going to spend more than a couple of seconds on something that’s boring. Your prospects and clients won’t either.
Ungooking the Gobbledy
First, I recommend you hire a professional writer to develop your marketing documents. (But I would say that, wouldn’t I?) In all seriousness, a competent copywriter will be able to produce content saying exactly what you want and appealing to your target audience. A small investment in a professional writing service is going to save you hours of your own time and achieve better results. In lieu of hiring a writer, take advantage of Hubspot’s Marketing Grader. You’ll be surprised how easy it is to inject jargon (and boredom) into your writing.
What words or phrases make you glaze over and switch off?
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